Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
