Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
