Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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