she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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