First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
