12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
