Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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