apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize