Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
