oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
