I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
please come you make the beer taste better
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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