About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
this hospital has no fireball
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
