I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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