Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
