why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
