Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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