apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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