Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
