girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
