I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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