just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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