i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
