That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
