walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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