its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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