So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
