take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
