hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
