Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
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