I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
