i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he thought i was a dude.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
