This girl is more easily done than said...
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Randomize
