I want to make a zoo with you.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
