'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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