I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
