My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
