as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize