Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize