I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
