You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
