Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
