Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
