If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize