I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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