we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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