the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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