I'm going to jail i love you
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
