...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
