Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
