Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
