Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
