So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
