im gay
i know
yea but for you.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
