Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
