i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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