can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
