I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
