Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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