i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Randomize
